2. The partner who cheated must want to get help

It will be difficult to move forward unless your partner is willing to attend couples counseling. So before that can happen, your partner must admit he or she was wrong. This is often where couples remain at a standstill. The cheater will try to convince his partner that what happened wasn’t his or her fault.

The cheater might even assign blame to the person he slept with — or worse — you. Don’t accept the blame. It was your partner’s decision to get into this situation.

Love, intimacy, and sexuality coach Michele Fabrega told The Cheat Sheet that both partners should avoid playing the blame game. “Marriage counseling is a great source of healing and support.

For most couples, I think it is a key investment to have the best chance at getting to a better place together...Staying away from blame and getting into discovery mode is key.

What are each of us missing in our relationship? What do we need from each other? What do we need for ourselves as individuals? Some couples might even choose to change their agreements around monogamy going forward,” said Fabrega.

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